Sam Vaknin hat geschrieben:
I feel that there must be more to life than this
I feel that life is a “waste of time” and there is no point to it
I experience a lack of purpose
I struggle to even discuss the meaning and purpose of my life because I don’t know what it is
I experience a lack of self-esteem tormented by feelings of shame and inadequacy
I experience devastating loss of self reflected in others when taken away
I find it hard to tolerate abandonment and rejection
I feel emotionally neglected and alone
I experience negative thoughts about the quality of my life and how it has ended up
I experience chronic suicidal ideation
I experience the devastating loss of a spiritual life which feels like the abandonment of God
I feel lost in a desert with nowhere to go
Although I frantically try and form meaningful relationships,
I am unable to reach out and connect to others in a meaningful way
I have been dissatisfied with all my relationships with others
I have been dissatisfied with every job and anything I have ever done
I feel like the living dead
I don’t know what it is to be human
I don’t know who I am
Oar, superslartibartfaß hat geschrieben:Bäume sind Büsche auf Balken
Schrauben sind Nägel mit Falten
Zugfahren ist Fließen auf Gleisen
Flüße sind Meere auf Reisen
Träume sind Schlaf mit Ideen
Igel, Kakteen die gehen.
Fenster sind gläserne Mauern,
Berge sind Wellen, die dauern,
Beine sind Arme zum Laufen
Mauern sind sehr grade Haufen.
Sekunden sind Stunden, die rennen,
Eier sind werdende Hennen
Koma ist Amok im Spiegel
Kakteen sind fußkranke Igel
Schränke sind Häuser für Sachen
Und Weinen ist trauriges Lachen.
Charles Darwin wäre wohl Veggie gewesen: "There is no fundamental difference between man and the higher mammals in their mental faculties.... The difference in mind between man and the higher animals, great as it is, certainly is one of degree and not of kind. The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man. We have seen that the senses and intuitions, the various emotions and faculties, such as love, memory, attention and curiosity, imitation, reason, etc., of which man boasts, may be found in an incipient, or even sometimes a well-developed condition, in the lower animals."
“The following proposition seems to me in a high degree probable—namely, that any animal whatever, endowed with well-marked social instincts, the parental and filial affections being here included, would inevitably acquire a moral sense or conscience, as soon as its intellectual powers had become as well, or nearly as well developed, as in man. For, firstly, the social instincts lead an animal to take pleasure in the society of its fellows, to feel a certain amount of sympathy with them, and to perform various services for them.”
― Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man
- love creatures darwin.jpg (30.91 KiB) 2945 mal betrachtet
Und wo bleibt das Positive, Herr Kästner? hat geschrieben:Und immer wieder schickt ihr mir Briefe,
in denen ihr, dick unterstrichen, schreibt:
»Herr Kästner, wo bleibt das Positive?«
Ja, weiß der Teufel, wo das bleibt.
Noch immer räumt ihr dem Guten und Schönen
den leeren Platz überm Sofa ein.
Ihr wollt euch noch immer nicht dran gewöhnen,
gescheit und trotzdem tapfer zu sein.
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.